Nine Cents

 The last few months of my life have been the most confusing, frustrating months of my life. Between math 1050, winter, being homesick all the time, my lack of confidence, struggle with my faith, and the indecision of my future I have felt awful. I have cried, yelled, screamed, prayed myself to death. During this whole time, I have to make some of the most important decisions of my life including picking a University for next year. Have you ever had to make a choice when so you're so lost? It doesn't work. Then in March I decided purely out of interest of having friends at school next year to apply to The University of Utah and Utah State University. Neither felt right but I just went with it because if I don't know what I want how do I even know I'm making the wrong decision? 

Three weeks ago, I got accepted to USU and it felt good to be accepted but my heart wasn't in it. I thought great I'm screwed because I feel the same way about the U. Still I check my mailbox everyday waiting for that letter from the U. Then I went online to check my status of my application(I know this is hella boring to read but I have point I promise!)(I just said hella..) and it said it still needed my transcripts.  Well at that moment, my heart dropped through the floor. I sent my transcripts two months ago.My irrational mind went on a rampage of a future where the U didn't accept me because my transcripts were lost. I realized that if this was taken away from me, I would be heartbroken. Finally I knew what I wanted because if I lost it, I wouldn't be okay with it.

Then today, I got it all worked out re-sent  my SLCC ones from high school and got them sent from College of Eastern Utah. Well thanks to the merger from hell, they needed my transcripts from USU so I went online to do it and it said it was "free" so I was excited because guess what I has nine cents in my bank account. Then I got to the end of this program to get my transcripts sent to the U, and it costs 4 dollars. 4 dollars between me and what I wanted. That thing I knew that I wanted for the first time in five months. So I checked my bank account to see the reality of my nine cents and there was my tax return sitting in the account. 

I guess want to say that things work out. They always do and life is really hard. It sucks. And sometimes things get taken you away from you and things fall through so you see what you want. Wherever your life is at right now, just remember that things do come together in the end. God makes you strong enough to bear things. He doesn't look at you and think you're too weak and take away your problems, He helps you get through it. If you don't know what it is you want right now, it will come. 

Price in the Spring.