Sunday, August 11, 2013

Embracing the Chubby arms: a step toward self love.

Two months ago, I was at Ross with Lisa. While my mom was sorting through the maxi dresses, I stumbled upon something pink and wonderful AND in my size. Promptly, I went and tried on this dress and fell in love. 

Skip ahead two months to last night when I put this this dress again to dress up for a Karaoke Party. (went as Glinda from Wicked) Something wonderful happened. I finally accepted myself fully. I put this dress on and I didn't look at one part of myself and think "I don't like that." I just felt pretty.

I'm fat. I have been my whole life. Chubby .Curvy. Voluptuous. Pick a word it's me. And being a fat kid, I've dealt with the problems that come with that. I was bullied by others in Elementary School and Jr. High. There was a part of me that would think people didn't think the outside of me so I had to likable as possible to make up for that. Conveniently this made a kind person but also passive and scared to stand up for myself. 

Fast forward to now where I am still fat. Guess what though? I'm also hilarious, Mormon, in Ravenclaw ("Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure"), in love with Harrison Ford even if he could be my grandpa, an artist, a good friend, sailor mouth when I play Nintendo 64, a future Educator, a writer when I want to be, a sister but more than anything
I'm a Child of God and I'm beautiful.

So to the people who used to mean to me when I was kid, the guys who look at women of my size and say they aren't chubby chasers and anyone else who has ever made someone bigger feel like they are worthless, I say you're missing out. And a four letter F word that followed by you.