I feel twelve years older than last year. After you walk away high school, it's the scariest but most beautiful place to be. Everyday, I listen to a new story of someone who I haven't known since kindergarten. People are so incredible. They overcome so much and just fascinating. The world isn't black and white or love and hate anymore. It's full of color and emotions that make love look simplistic.
It's weird to think I turned sixteen so long ago. I miss being sixteen year old me sometimes. I believed in others and in sunshine and friendship and that everyday was meant to be magical or it wasn't worth getting up. Then came seventeen and the struggle that is adolescence. The magic went away. Life became about loneliness, heartache, Facebook and watching people change who were supposed to stay forever. I learned endurance, patience and that people who matter always linger around in dark times of life.(That sentence sounded like Harry Potter ha-ha) Eighteen knocked on my door and I thought that I knew everything with the passing into adulthood. Like I said before, I aged a lot this year. I said goodbyes too many times, said "why me?" all the time and almost forgot what a thank you was. I learned I am not the only one who prays for a better world at night. Family is my muse and it took a lot of struggle to the truth.
Now I am 19. I am prime and have one last year what is known as being a teenager. Today I swear though, I felt the magic coming back of being sixteen. Maybe it didn't go anywhere but I think I might believe in something other than my savior Jesus Christ again. I believe in myself.
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