Four years ago, I was sitting in the stale air of a trailer in my best friend's driveway. I sat in the back corner doodling while Shannon and Kristina busy on the computer talking heaven knows who on Myspace at the front of the trailer. In the dim light I opened my journal and started to write down stuff that brought me joy.
I live in a very different world, but I am still counting those things that keep me going. They made it easier to get through Murray High School and a very tough freshman year of college. Optimism will always kick pessimism in the shins and leave it in a dark alley way. Don't let anyone tell you there's nothing to be happy about.Here's some of my favorites. My list probably won't mean much to you but grab a notepad and make a list of your own.
2007
7.Brian
17.Orange Poppies
21.The color blue
63.The Outsiders
64.Mrs. Heyborne
92.The Postal Service
100.Beanie Babies
138.Star Wars
230.Girl's Camp
256. The Poke' Rap
267.Track Shorts
284.Diet Coke
2008
320.Sleep overs with Shiloh
357. Splitting a chocolate chip cookie
365. Gorgeous strangers
389.Wasting a complete day
395.Trevor Bennett
447. My periwinkle shoes
478.The Ocean
479. Feeling like you're staring at Eternity in the face
495.The Dark Knight
497.Learning from darkness
521. August moonlight
552. Sailor Moon
598.Dano Nelson
2009
709. Art room friends
713. horribly off color jokes told by art room friends
725.Mr. White
749. Millcreek Health Center
760. A new plan
806. Pouring rain in New York City
817. Shiloh's elfish dictionary
824. Sunsets that remind me of Star Wars
874. Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger
914. The way everything slows down in June
943.Stacie Sessions
957. Watching movies with Brian
1010.Mckenna Schwab
1047. Cousin camping
1055. Squirrel Mountain
1065. watching Star Wars with Dano
1100.Brahms
1110.George Harrison
2010
1115. The Princess Bride by: William Goldman
1139.Faithfully- Journey
1141. St. Elmo's Fire
1177. Not going to school with Dano
1179. Nicole and Ryan Farnsworth
1180.Price, Utah
1195.Exit 317
1217. Miss Lloyd one two stepping
1228. When you eat a red jelly bean and it's not cinnamon
1232. When rain hits wet train tracks at night
1292.Percy Jackson book series
1253. Scooby Doo on Zombie Island
1263. My Lisa
1285. Lego Starwars
1294. Jakobe at 7-11
1297. Harold and Maude
1312. Tai Chi
1321. Aurelia Dougi
1326. LOST
1337. The sound the smoke monster makes
2011
1382. Not wearing pants
1408. Paul Millsap
1418. Herbert the Pillow Pet
1419.The Office
1429. Scattergories
1451. Red Harry Potter Sweater
1463. Bon Iver
1479.George Constanza
1483. Brother Ali
1482. Andy Samberg
1489.Tumblr
1493. Mae Goss
1495. Reading Collette's blog
1508. Fable 3
1514. Hurricane, UT
1520. Leaving my shoes in the Nevada desert
1545. French Toast Sticks
1548. Charmander
1557. Cassie Brackus
1563. Hope 2011 style
1564. Leftover Mexican Food
1568. Shiloh being happy
1572. Adele
1573. Lilly Marie's Eyes
1574. Runaway- Kanye West
Monday, June 27, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Friday night with Paulie C and Spongebob
Tomorrow, I have to wake up early so I decided to stay in on a Friday night. I haven't stayed in on a Friday night since Jr. High school and it feels so nice. I just watched the Spongebob Squarepants Movie in my pj's, painted my cactus Paulie C a new pot, and finished (sloppily) two painting projects from April. I forgot how nice it is to just be with myself. I fear being alone and thought tonight was going to be awful because everyone is out and about and I'm at home But, it turns out I'm not twelve years old anymore. I'm a secure enough as a person to be on my own for the night. So have does this have any significance to you reading this? I recommend spending some time by yourself and taking a break. It feels good and now I'm going to Netflix it up before I go to bed before 12(a miracle in itself..) Here's a picture of Paulie's new terracotta pot, I think he likes it more than the cereal bowl.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
That Harry Potter Post...
The last nine years of my life have been given to this book series and Kristina showed me this website with blog challenges and I like this one and because I'm a nerd and also because I'm bored at 2 am I'm subjectiing you to a nerdgasm that is this Harry Potter post. It's 15 days in one evening so enjoy :)
Professor Lupin was always the coolest to me. He never really fit in and that's kind of what Harry Potter is all about. The outsider despite not blending in, succeeding. I always related to Lupin and how loyal he is to his friends and family. I loved how once he knew the truth about Sirius Black, he let go of ten years of hate and was there for him.
It would have to be a kangaroo. Motherly, energetic, a wee bit strange when you think about but can kick a punch at the sadness.Day 5: What is your boggart?
Losing my family/friends, I'm like Mrs. Weasley nothing would be worse to me
Day 6: What is your least favorite class?
Charms is probably the less intriguing course to me. Moving objects doesn't have that great of appeal to me.
Day 9: What is your favorite book in the series?
love.
Day 10: What is your chosen Deathly Hallow?
Invisibility cloak so I could see movies at the theater all day without being disturbed. Also, I love cloaks...
Day 11: If you made horcruxes, what would they be and how many?
I could never murder anyone ever. I'm too soft so none.
Day 12: What is your favorite magical creature?
Hippogriffs ftw
Day 13: Which Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was the best?
Lupin enough said.
Day 14: What is your signature spell?
I like yelling Expelliarmus in public places so I'm going to go with that one.
Day 15: Would you have joined Dumbledore’s Army?
Yes, I would.
I can't for July 15!
15 DAY HARRY POTTER CHALLENGE
Day 1: What is your House?
I am Ravenclaw. I took the test when I was kid and Iwould always get Ravenclaw and lie to people and tell them I got Hufflepuff because people in Hufflepuff are nicer.Ravenclaws really aren't that mean though .. For you folks out there who don't know what Ravenclaw is like, they are the intelligent and witty ones. I feel they are also the most misunderstood. They are regarded as know it alls but really they're kinda awkward with good intentions and think differently.
Day 2: What is your favorite class?
I think I would love potions. Mixing weird things together was my forte as a child. I remember making pretend potion out of sidewalk chalk, rain water and morning glory when I was little. Plus, Snape is pretty B.A.
Day 3: Who is your favorite professor?
Day 4: What is your patronus?
It would have to be a kangaroo. Motherly, energetic, a wee bit strange when you think about but can kick a punch at the sadness.
Losing my family/friends, I'm like Mrs. Weasley nothing would be worse to me
Day 6: What is your least favorite class?
Charms is probably the less intriguing course to me. Moving objects doesn't have that great of appeal to me.
Day 7: Who is your least favorite professor?
Professor Umbridge; nothing much to say on the matter she's scary and mean.
Professor Umbridge; nothing much to say on the matter she's scary and mean.
Day 8: What do you REALLY think of Ron Weasley?
My favorite of the dynamic trio. He is the most realistic character in the book series to me. He is adorable and underrated. 
Day 9: What is your favorite book in the series?
Day 10: What is your chosen Deathly Hallow?
Invisibility cloak so I could see movies at the theater all day without being disturbed. Also, I love cloaks...
Day 11: If you made horcruxes, what would they be and how many?
I could never murder anyone ever. I'm too soft so none.
Day 12: What is your favorite magical creature?
Hippogriffs ftw
Day 13: Which Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was the best?
Lupin enough said.
Day 14: What is your signature spell?
I like yelling Expelliarmus in public places so I'm going to go with that one.
Day 15: Would you have joined Dumbledore’s Army?
Yes, I would.
I can't for July 15!
Monday, June 20, 2011
"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." -Abraham Lincoln
So once upon time I knew this girl not too long ago. She hated things like small towns and thought all she needed was the big city lights. She believed that there was nothing the quiet and sleepy could teach her. She was awake and full of life. Then she moved back to the freeways and trendy restaurants. The familiar was wonderful and the friends, never better.
Something lay underneath the surface. She started to dream of the sleepy streets. It became really hard to get settled in the city. The community college made it hard to transfer, she couldn't find that second job to seal the urban deal, and not all, but lots of friends she loved were in new places with new faces finding themselves without her. The freeways became overwhelming, so many people going to homes she'd never see or ever know.
It kept raining and raining even though it was June. The month of magic and ascending heat was cold and pure reality. This girl just watched too many episodes of Grey's anatomy and put on a smile. She rode along on adventures and laughed at the right times. Deep inside, she was lost.
One afternoon, this girl gave a chosen big sister a phone call. Her big sister asked about had she thought about the small town and returning there. No one had asked her that. Suddenly, everything clicked. All the roads with dead ends suddenly detoured and she realized her life. She found herself two nights after the phone call signing up for classes in the country.
In case you hadn't figured it out this is one of those "I'm going to write something third person to say something important or something that is hard to admit to" stories to explain the last month and a half of my life.
Somehow in some strange way, I figured out that leaving somewhere before you're supposed to is like pulling the roots out to see if something is still growing. Yes, I do hate Price every other day. I hate eating campus food being far away from my family and chosen family(cough cough Kenna).However,I also love how its never smoggy when you wake up in the wintertime. I love that I never see those kids who judged and pointed and whispered with their friends about me because I were a kimono to school in Jr. high at the gas station or at Smith's. Those afternoons where you sleep late in the dorm and read and just don't go to class. The way I talk to everyone for the first time and get to tell them stories and get a non-objective answer. This is my life. With Jesus on my side, I'm going to move forward both city and country. I'm going to complain when Price sucks and when Murray gets a little too high school the next year but I'm done thinking the week or month or year was a mistake. Mourning is for that winter of junior year where you thought your world was ending all the time. For now, I'm just going to live whatever that means.
Something lay underneath the surface. She started to dream of the sleepy streets. It became really hard to get settled in the city. The community college made it hard to transfer, she couldn't find that second job to seal the urban deal, and not all, but lots of friends she loved were in new places with new faces finding themselves without her. The freeways became overwhelming, so many people going to homes she'd never see or ever know.
It kept raining and raining even though it was June. The month of magic and ascending heat was cold and pure reality. This girl just watched too many episodes of Grey's anatomy and put on a smile. She rode along on adventures and laughed at the right times. Deep inside, she was lost.
One afternoon, this girl gave a chosen big sister a phone call. Her big sister asked about had she thought about the small town and returning there. No one had asked her that. Suddenly, everything clicked. All the roads with dead ends suddenly detoured and she realized her life. She found herself two nights after the phone call signing up for classes in the country.
In case you hadn't figured it out this is one of those "I'm going to write something third person to say something important or something that is hard to admit to" stories to explain the last month and a half of my life.
Somehow in some strange way, I figured out that leaving somewhere before you're supposed to is like pulling the roots out to see if something is still growing. Yes, I do hate Price every other day. I hate eating campus food being far away from my family and chosen family(cough cough Kenna).However,I also love how its never smoggy when you wake up in the wintertime. I love that I never see those kids who judged and pointed and whispered with their friends about me because I were a kimono to school in Jr. high at the gas station or at Smith's. Those afternoons where you sleep late in the dorm and read and just don't go to class. The way I talk to everyone for the first time and get to tell them stories and get a non-objective answer. This is my life. With Jesus on my side, I'm going to move forward both city and country. I'm going to complain when Price sucks and when Murray gets a little too high school the next year but I'm done thinking the week or month or year was a mistake. Mourning is for that winter of junior year where you thought your world was ending all the time. For now, I'm just going to live whatever that means.
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