anxiety.

So I have a problem with anxiety. I am now taking medication for it. and it's terrifying. It's also really hard to talk about. It's not that I'm afraid of people judging or not understanding me because mental illness is a part of my life. My family has it. I work in a environment where it is prevalent. I think that when I talk about it, it suddenly becomes real. I'm sick and it scares me that I won't get better. Being around others is exhausting sometimes which makes me not want to go to class or hang out with my friends. I can't take care of everyone around me right now because I need to figure myself out. Which stresses me out because I feel like I'm being selfish and that's wrong. I had to drop one of my classes because there too much on my plate and I feel weak for that because I am no longer a full time student. Which is dumb and petty but it adds to the stress.

It feels good to write about it because then it's out in the universe. I take comfort in art and writing. I'm scared for the future right now but saying all of this helps.

Things that have helped so far with this problem:
-Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ
- Elder Holland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNAx2Rgq-uI
 - The movies. There is no greater comforter to me in this world than the movies
-Buzzfeed http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinchack/comics-that-capture-the-frustration-of-anxiety-disorders
-My loving parents
-the beautiful October weather
-my friends
-Katy Perry's Prism

thanks for reading and listening to this.