we are choosing what we want to keep, not what we want to get rid of

Last Thursday, I woke up and it was -11 degrees outside. Apparently I decided to move to Kentucky the worst winter of ice and snow since 1994. President's Day weekend we got hit with a huge storm that shut down schools, slathered the roads in muck and ice and left me like the rest of  Kentucky bound up in my apartment. To help cope with cabin fever I turned to reading and watching Scandal and after two amazing books and half a season of Scandal later, I am still restless. Last Friday I was reallt feeling bleh. Friday is the day of the week I miss home the most . I want to get dinner with Jim or go to the movies and leave my house and explore. Instead I'm stuck inside with snow only leaving the house for work this weekend. I try not to have self pity. Afterall, I chose this adventure. I chose to move friendless, jobless, and I have a job now, and I'm working on that friend thing so I got to say I'm doing alright for myself. Restlessness come with the season. Winter and me have always been common enemies. It's freezing wind and grayscale days have never made me feel joyous about existence. My boredom and lack of social life have led me to clean and organize. I pick of this lovely book,

 

the life-changing magic of tidying up by Marie Kondo

I've been reading it and so far it has been a revelation to my messy lifestyle. In one particular section, she discusses discarding and getting rid of things. Marie Kondo tells of how growing up she would find things to throw away just to find things to throw away. Later, She had an epiphany that she was still untidy in her words even after getting rid of things. She figured out it was because she stopped valuing the items that surrounded her and would just fill the void with more things when she got rid of the old. She then said, 

"We are choosing what we want to keep, not what we want to get rid of."

The book somehow for me went from helping me clean and actually be successful in organization into a teaching Eat Pray Love moment. 

At this time of growth and change in life for me, it's about what I am choosing to leave behind but what I want to keep and add into my life. I have figuretively and physical got rid of a lot of things this past year. I came away feeling jaded and overwhelmed and hurt. I think it's because I haven't focused on the good things I've kept. Like good, strong people who understand and love me unconditionally. I kept my desires to be an educator. I chose to keep art. I chose to keep my sanity instead of putting up with situtations that were unhealthy for me. I am moving forward and even on bad gray days where I question my sanity and decisions in life
I have made, I know I am gaining so much more then little things in my life remain the same.